isn't it ironic that the one person who brings that smile to you that easily can make you sad and unhappy equally easily?
i think it sucks to care too much
because that is when you expect the other party to care as much
when that doesn't happen, you get upset
and you become a unreaonable bitch

which is why sometimes, yes, even now, i think i made a mistake in getting into a relationship
by opening that door to that one person, allowing him into the other side of the wall i built around myself to prevent me from getting hurt
because what he touches, or hurs, is the real person
the one that is fragile and emotional and not all that tough, after all
not the face others may see, the tough and independent exterior most people see and know

i do not deny that i am a person with high expectations
especially with things that i have invested significant amount of time and effort into
if not, why bother?
i never liked doing a half-assed job

the feeling of being unwanted, uncared for and neglected sucks
yes, time is something that is extremely precious now
and we are busy
but that doesn't justify the nonchalant "anything lorh"s
i am sensitive to such little things because it is what these little things that seem inconsequential that reveal the true nature of things
maybe i am just not important enough to share something that precious

i should learn how to live my own life by myself again
i should stop trying to fit and arrange my schedule into someone else's
things were better and easier in the past
when i didn't love you so much