i guess once a crack appears, it will never go away
as much as you try to do everything in your power to restore it to its original state, it can never be done
the strain will be there
at the slightest pressure, you hear the crack, depsite all your past efforts
and you just wonder was everything worth the effort
yet, you know you cannot just not try
and somehow, you simply can't just walk away


i used to pick up the phone confidently to call and text
assured that the voice at the other end will be happy to talk to me
now, i lack the courage to punch in those familiar numbers
afraid to feel the distance and, what i think is, nonchalence


i am supposed to be studying because the countdown timer on my desktop says 1 day and 17 hours to my first paper
but my mind has decided to wander off into a realm not within my control
and this lack of control over myself doesn't help as well
simply makes me more annoyed at myself