it is finally all over
5 papers and 10 torturous hours later, my fate for one more sem is sealed again
and i think know that i am pretty much dead once again
oh well
at least it is all over

i am immensely sad
i swear i could do the paper if i had more time
for once in a lomg time, i felt that i knew how to do a paper
but freaking hell..
i left 30 marks worth of questions blank
why?!!??
because i didn't have time
RAHH
this is so annoying
my stupid brain only decided to start functioning after ten
when the paper is frm 9-11
RAHHH
i feel so angry with myself
blehhh

i think i should just go bang my head against the wall or sth
booooo

hoping these will salvage my dying grades

i probably should go back to drawing flow diagrams and learning about how fluids flow
pls wish me luck

the cause of my academic death
CM 1121 Basic Organic Chemistry
22 April 2006, 1300-1500

I ABSOLUTELY DETEST ORGANIC CHEM
yes, i know it is over
but i am still sore about it
so let me rant

you know you are in trouble when you cant do half your paper
but
you know you are so dead when you hear a bunch of people saying "that was easy!" and did not detect any sacarsm
so
i know i am so damn dead

3 more to go
hanging on a very thin line now

today is the beginning of my slow academic suicide
paper in a few hours time
paper again tmr!
YES, ON A FREAKING SATURDAY!
and the all famous exam induced stomachache is here again
i honestly hate the way my body reacts to stress
why must it always be stomachaches?
why cant it be like losing weight or something?
i mean, i know it is psychological that your body is reacting the way it is
but!
i didn't tell my body "ok, whenever i am stressed out consciously or subconciously, inform me by giving me a stomachache"
blehhh

it is only one week
28th april
the day to look forward to and start having a life again
(that is if i don't die before that)

i am so freaking sick of studying
i honestly feel like puking whenever i see my notes or books or anything academice
i am not exagerrating neither am i kidding
people puke to make themselves skinnier
i think i am puking myself to made my grades more pathetic
wth
cant i just buy a brain who can help me do my exams?

i officially declare i am sick of organic chem
blehh
on to others
organic chem can go rearrange its own atoms and electrons anyway it wants
i am not bothering with it anymore

people can be so hypocritical
I can be so hypocritical, sometimes
i would like to think that it is only sometimes, although being hypocritical at any time or to any extent is bad
but herein lies the question
am i really being hypocritical or maybe i just being practical (if i may use the word for my own defence)

quite a few people would know that i was on rather close terms with this friend i knew from work last sem
we took a few common modules together, went for lectures together, lunch.. the usual works laa
whilst working on a project with another mutual friend (and others), things kinda turned sour
and all three of us just sort of drifted apart and led our own lives
of course, there were the usual hellos when you bump into each other in school
but that was the only form of communication we had
nothing else whatsoever
until recently when this particular person started talking to me on msn again and repeatedly asked me to study together
at this point, i must add that ever since the fall out during the project, i have had a rather unplesant impression of this person
but since i needed to study, i agreed to the invitation
so, i have been studying with a person i don't particularly like
having meals with the same person and taking rides from him and well, trying to pretend that everything was the same as it was before the awkward fallout
(in my own defence, there are no buses for me to take at like almost midnight)
i have no idea whether he can sense this subtle awkwardness but i seriously have been feeling real bad
like i am some hypocritical bitch who makes use of people
i know this is not the time to be bothered about such "nobel" issues and i should just concentrate on studying but somehow, this has been nagging me consistently

blehh
mental overload and distress

five more days to first paper
i am officially freaking out because i have yet to do alot alot of things
breathe lijie breathe

ok, its back to school to LT31 in a while
i am going to freeze my ass off because supposedly your brain works better when it is cold
so yes, i will risk freezing to death to finish studying because i NEED, MUST, DEFINITELY HAVE to do well this sem to salvage my pathetic score last sem

presentation tmr
rahhh
i don't really hate presentations i guess
but i am sick and tired of them
this is the many-ith presentations i have done
and i hate having to break my momentum when studying
especially when i just managed to get myself to sit down and do proper work
boooo

cant wait for the horrid presentation to be over and i can finally study properly without anymore distractions
that is, if i can get back my studying momentum
sighhh

to quote my friend, "NUS= Now U Stress"
how true

exam period=more posts
i think that is what everybody has/had been saying
and i think it is true
ranting can be rather therapetic
for yourself, that is
i dont think the people reading your rantings would be calmed by it
hah
but then again, who has the time to blog-surf when exams are like staring and screaming at you??
only dodo heads like me would do such a suicidal thing, i gathered
hah

this is a totally random and incoherent post which totally serves no purpose
i dont even know why in the world i am writing this
i guess, this goes to show that i am truly going mad

my two partners against the monster called exams
my laptop(although its screwing up on me) and the natural cofectionery co.'s awesomely sour unbearables that are 99% fat free

my laptop is screwed up
rahhh
i think there is something wrong with wireless adapter thing(s)
it is annoying me to hell please
rahhh

exams are in two weeks exactly
but i feel no sense of urgency
so someone please knock some sense into this thick skull of mine
i need someone to pound in the messsage"YOU NEED TO STUDY"