last day of the month
last day at the warzone
no more naggy customers
no more constant phone rings
no more cheery "good morning circulations" to say when you really cant even open your eyes!
yayy!!
-jumps around-
hah
but i will miss my colleagues though
they were nice people
the people downstairs as we call them, the perm staff who will help me out, the various uncles from the operations
but oh well,
i am still glad to be free!
for these few days at least
till the other job starts again
i shall cherish and savour this few glorious, precious days
freedom sure tastes good
yum yum

its it four in the after noon now
12 hours since i last said i cant get to sleep
and it is true
i still cant get to sleep
i have no idea why on earth is that so
bleah
and i am bored and rotting at home now
bored and tired
sounds like a good combi to drive anyone to sleep right?
wrong
i just cant get to sleep
and i am beginning to feel really crappy due to lack of sleep
bleah

been through quite a lot of books lately
and certain stuff have definitely gotten me thinking
especially in the cool darkness of the night
and as a result beginning to see certain things in some sort of a different light
but, call me stuborn or obstinate
there are just certain issues and things i just cant accept
if i really meant that much
why cant you do this for me?

its four in the morning
and i just reached home
been outside since 0745 this morning, or rather yesterday morning
but suprisingly, i am not even remotely tired
in fact i am still kinda hyper
hah

worked till 2130 again tonight, or last night, whichever
then went for 2 consequetive late movie with class ppl
the little movie gang
indra joined us as well
hah
the eye is such a total waste of money
swing girls is not bad though
quite funny and i found it kinda touching
think its meant to be a comedy
but somehow
the story did really touch me
maybe its the endurance displayed by them
or the efforts of the lead actor to put together a complete bunch of squealing bimbos with no interest, passion or whatsoever into a successful band that got the audience on their feet
but there is also the possibility that i am simply suffering from mood swings due to the hormonal changes
hah

oh, and to the guys reading this
pls take a lesson from junkai today
when sharing a cab home with a girl
pls, pls ensure the girl drops before you do and ensure she gets home safely
it is after all, in the middle of the night
yupp..
i am sure huixian will so agree with me
right?
hah

in the cold darkness of the cinema
i longed for the warmth only you can give..
but you were not there

i am dead tired
honestly
had to work till freaking 2130 today
yes
thats almost 4 hours more
and i think we are supposed to repeat this torture again tmr
bleah
and guess wad?
i gotta go back to work on saturday as well
someone pls tell me how sad is that?
sigh

finally tendered my resignation
definitely a lot easier than i imagined
cant say i will miss the place
definitely no regrets abt leaving
the only sad thing being the fact tt i gotta work till 02/04
meaning i would only have the weekend and monday free before starting on the new job
hence ruining my plans of a gloriously jobless break before another job
sigh

two more weeks in that freezing warzone
a constant battle to keep your temper in check and remain courteous
quite a challenge for me
as many might tell you
but well, its all going to end soon
as all things, good or bad, do eventually..

an unusually busy day today
calls came in like rapid fire
comparable in aggression and speed
a hetic day
the results: parched lips, dry throat and a splitting headache
sigh
guess i really do need to sleep
but somehow
sleep always loves to hate me when i am desperate for it
it will keep its distance
hovering close enough yet perputually out of reach
just like how everything else in my life appears to be
just like you
there but not there
i need something material
to touch and to hold
something i can really call my own..

almost one in the morning
gotta work tmr
but i still cant get to sleep
the consequences of getting upset just before bedtime
-growls-
fate really enjoys playing jokes on people
it just has this knack for ruining things up
or perhaps i have this special ability to always uncover something to upset myself with
bleah
it is so not nice a feeling
i am currently in a rather unsettled mood
not exactly upset but not feeling good as well
either way, its a crappy feeling
and it is robbing me of my sleep
as well as paving the path to a crappy start of the week tmr
i can foresee constant blinking lights on my phone tmr
"why cant i access the webpage anymore?"
cuz u didn't pay idert
bleah
already i am grouchy
this is bad...

its amazing how a nugget of information can undo all that had took so long to build up
a bucket of icy, cold water dousing out all the warmth
joy, contentment, satisfaction
all gone within that split second as the words registered
everything replaced by a feeling that i cant explain and describe
a mixture of anger, sadness and disappointment as well as an unidentifiable feeling X
why does this always happen?

it was the one of the best week this year
why did it have to end this way?

it has really been just a dream after all
i am now awake..

another rather sinful meal
at the big O this time
-yumz-
lovely cheesecake, fragrant vanilla ice-cream, warm hershey's chocolate sauce
my o my
what an apt name for the devilishly sinful yet irrestible
think i can feel my stomach growing already
-guilty grinz-

thanks for everything this few days
its been really lovely
pls dun fling me from the clouds down to hell again
let me preserve this bit of sweetness and allow me to savour it

called into work, supposedly sick
indeed i am
not physically but rather mentally
sicl and tired of all the incessant phone rings
the need to maintain a polite decorum when the person at the other end is a serious idiot who ought to be shot and hanged
the annoyed voices of the more experienced when you ask for assistance
the resistance of those who apparently have no faith in the so called temps

but i guess that's the way how the world works
and well
i am leaving that place soon
no doubt i will still be one of those temps
but lets just hope that the new place will treat us with more respect
we really are persons after all

my stomach is going mad i swear
couldn't bring myself to eat properly these few days
everything that goes down makes me feel like throwing it all up again
till this afternoon
i was pigging out on the cracker in the office this noon and i actually felt ok
thought my stomach finally decided to function properly
then, the all too familiar naseau returned when i had dinner
bleahhh
i am hungry
but i cant eat
seriously
this is a torture

a little stolen time
a beautiful monday afternoon
sheltered against the blazing heat
the cold, smooth tau huay and the lovely not-too-sweet syrup
the company of someone dear
the beauty of it all
away from the constant stupidl repetitive questions
felt almost like an indulgence
and in a sense it was

thank you for everything

was supp to go ntu openhouse today
but after the horrendous experience at nus yesterday
i figured out maybe not
hah
so i am slacking my life away at home on a rather beautiful sunday
hah
life's been pretty boring lately
work is still the same
but i am becoming better at it
i hope
or more probably. just more accustomed to it
haha

was out with viv that day
shopping around
when i finallly realised how much weight i have put on over these few months
i am not exagerrating
everyone says so too
-sobz-
i seriously gotta do sth abt it
soon.
hah

congrats to all who did well
have fun and enjoy yourselves

those who didn't
dun lose heart
results do not mirror everything
there are always things that matter more than academic grades
things will right themselves eventually

its 12 in the morning
i cant get to sleep
somehow
results came out a few days ago
i did better than expected
and i most prob am going to sound stupid saying this now
but i just realised that my overall results are quite screwed
because of pw and cca
sigh
maybe i should just set my sights lower and aim for something more realistic

it is definite
D-day is in 2.5 days!
62 hours more
and the big bombshell is gonna drop
the "fruit" of the many many many yrs of mugging
ok, maybe i am exagerrating
but it is the determining factor to how my future would go from now on
unless i am gonna be stuck in the bloody war zone i presently reside in for 9.5 hrs a day

pls people, wish me luck
i need all the help i can get