i did a stupid thing last night
i don't know how things will turn out
i don't know how i want things to turn out

life has to go on regardless how you feel
because the earth is still turning and the sun still rises and lessons continue and people can still be so damn bloody bitchy
grrrr

sometimes, i hate group work
or more like i hate it when i see work that people have done and think its crap but cannot point out what is wrong exactly
"it is just not correct" is not enough because obviously they, who have done it, will think that they are correct and you're just being fussy and bitchy or whatever else
rahhhh

i think i am losing it soon
and i hate the fact that i am allowing everything affect me like that
and i hate the one who caused me to be like this
but i need to stop hating everything
simply because, it will not change anything
it will only make my own life more miserable
i am trying
but i am failing miserably

i am tired
why is that i am always alone when i need someone beside me the most?

week 2 of school and i am already drowning in work
this doesn't seem too good, does it?

long lab sessions, lab reports, more lab sessions, more lab reports, individual presentation, tutorials, assignments
goodness
did i mention it is only the second week?
sighh
with two students, two late days in school and another two classes at the tuition centre, i don't have the luxury of doing things at my own pace anymore
i hope i will survive this sem
(my lecturers don't seem to be helping alot, or it might just be that i am not a good student)

and it doesn't really help that i seem to have plunged into a abyss of depression
nothing seems to be helping very much
no, i have not been wallowing in self pity
in fact, i have been trying my very best to get myself out of this miserable state because it simply sucks to constantly feel like crying
its been pretty bad, so much so that going to school can be a torture because i need to pretend that everything is good and rosy

forgive and forget
3 words, 16 letters
something everyone says
but it is not easy to accomplish
not easy at all

i need air and space and freedom
i need to escape from it all

i have broken all my resolutions for the new school term

1. i skipped school
2. i have not reviewed my lectures as i am supposed to
3. i am not paying attention during lecture but typing this bloc of words now


but you can hardly blame me for the last crime
she is totally totally boring and speakes in a monotone
save me
and the other lecturer, too, has extremely brief lectures
goodness me

i.need.to.pay.attention

second week in school and well, its like that lorhh

lectures are still kinda baffling and i am still in holiday mood
gahhh
this has gotta stop soon

and don't worry viv, we'll still love you even after your silly antics
hahah

i learnt about alot of things yesterday

1. wei wei knows how to play bridge, just don't get her to be your partner
you will die because she will trumph your card adn happily go "yayy!" with the cutesy handsign then ask why everybody is laughing at her
and she did it more than once to me
if you were her opponent, then it would really quite funny to watch

2. vivien can't play tai tee
she thinks she can put down 5.6.7 as a set then proceed to ask me why we were laughing and frothing at the mouth

3. i cant drink to save my life
as fun as getting high can be, it is not worth the discomfort that follows
adn that drinking on an empty stomach is an especially stupid thing to do when you have about as high a tolerance for alcohol as me, which is basically non-existent

4. wearing 3 inch heels to go clubbing is equivalent to killing your feet
or maybe i am just plain lousy


yes, a summary of what happened yesterday/today
oh
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELVIN
even though you most probably wont see this

i broke my promise of not skipping any lecture for the first tiem this year
yes, i know it is only the firs week of school
boo
more abou why later when my brain is functioning

so school has started adn i got lost on the first day of school again
i hope it doesn't become a tradition
heh

my timetable turns out not to be too bad, after all
i have SOME fridays free since lab sessions are not every week
thank heavens for that

life has to go on even when you are in pain
grit your teeth and get on with it
sighh
that is what i have to do i guess

on a happier note, away from my depression
fireworks yesterday was simply lovely
and i had a great time with my friends
i think its times like these that keep me sane

sometimes, it hurts so much that it doesn't hurt anymore
and i don't know whether the pain has gone away
or maybe i have just grown numb
sighhh

i have always found the human mind a huge mystery
and after this, i concluded i can never figure out how it works
i did everything i could
yet it all comes to nothing



i am sorry i cant listen to you this time round
i know you care and that i should do what is right
but i cant, for too many reasons
i am sorry to have to burden you with this

sera: i like the leopard on the puma stuff.
me: erm, the puma is a cat
sera: isn't it a leopard?
the rest of the people: mouths open and stunned
we then tried to explain that when i said cat, it meant the cat family

yes, we should make a record of what our dear smart bimbo says everytime we go out
well, we still love you even though you make silly statements like that

night out at esplanade(fireworks!) and then at samar at arab street
great fun!
even though we had to walk from esplanade to arab street cuz we couldn't get a cab
and almost got ourselves killed because we didn't look carefully before crossing the road
hah

i need to do crazy stuff like that more often to maintain my sanity
esp when school starts
(which is in like 5 days)

i hate being rudely awaken by annoying, loud anime music (which happens to be horribly disgusting, please)
and it is even worse when you are greeted by a mess that is created by the idiot who woke you up so rudely
what a perfectly terrible way to wake up
RAHHHH

why can't people be considerate and responsible
bloody hell clear up after yourself larh

brothers
esp extremely irritating and "all-knowing" and self righteous ones should never exist

read the STOMP thing on ST interactive and came across this page as mentioned by one of the "star bloggers"
i have no idea what in the world it is trying to say

maybe it just goes to show that my english standard is simply not acrolectal

timetable and modules are kinda finalized

school is starting in one week
only one more week
arggghh
then it will be the beginning of hell for three months
or heaven for mugger toads but it will be scary for a mugger tadpole(if i can even call myself that) like me
:((

i wanted a mango jacket and my mum got me a carton of the fruits instead
how sweet of her
and she thinks it is really funny
-bangs head-

last day of tuition at JK building
i will miss the kids
if only i can swop them for the monstrous P5 class
sigghh
but life doesn't work that way
my timetable doesn't work that way

i think i will miss them

on another note, i need to stop being a bum and go to the gym before i grow into a ball
and i need to find out whether i still have a boyfriend because apparently someone seems to have decided to ignore my existence
so i am not a happy girl now

apparently my usb thumbdrive is really really durable
i dunno which dodo head threw it into the washing machine, but it still works
i am amazed