had a late night talk with two mothers yesterday
disturbing, the things they we talked about
really made me start thinking

i know what i feel is real
but because of what i want and my fears, i do not want a future that what most people want, or think should be
so, in that way
am i being selfish?
am i doing something wrong?

sigh
disturbing thoughts
and i don't really want to think about it all
am too tired, too busy, too scared

2000 words on what i learnt during the lab sessions
9% of a module which by sheer luck i have yet to screw up, yet
how to write???
lets not talk about my english getting from bad to worse, that is another story altogether
very soon i will start speaking in the "dun like that lah" and "cannot, cannot" and i dunno what else laaa
but, that is beside the point now

honestly, 2000 words reflection essay???
and it is really called reflective writing, btw
how??
really nth to write
sighh
i need my crapping skills back

like. now.

i hate group work
i hate, hate, hate, hate group work
especially when it is with irresponsible idiots

freakin annoying to just not turn up because you s/u the module
i hope all those irresponsible idiots who bring harm onto their group members fail
get a freaking U instead of the S

i slept for one hour last night
one fucking hour because i about rewrote the whole damn report, had to edit another report and do the stupid powerpoint slides
and the idiot just decided to not turn up today
i hope she fails
and i hope those two idiots who hopefully have lots and lots of pimples by now fail the module too
it is two different modules, btw
and there are three idiot in question here

i hope they all get a freaking U

note to self:
always check whether your potential group members S/U the module
DO NOT,repeat, DO NOT, NEVER, EVER, work with people who S/U the freaking module, especially when your intuition tells you they are not the kind to produce work that is remotely up to standard


gahh
i hope those two buggers get lots of pimples on their face from their respective facial foams
(erm, my project is on facial foam)
and i am so definitely going to turn in the peer evaluation form this time round
fucking idiots gave me work that i could have produced in my secondary school days

on a happier note, saturday nights like yesterday SHOULD become a regular affair
:)

i am awake at 0 441
and i have been awake at such times for the whole week
i didn't wake up by myself
i went to sleep at 2 am
something woke me up
and it is driving me mad
(and no, it is nth supernatural, in case some of you might be wondering)
because i cant go back to sleep once i wake up
so, this sucks
i freakin need sleep

its 0321
i am attempting to complete the first out of the three reports that are due tmr today
wth

and half my class is online now
meaning, all of us are still awake and writing reports at the unearthly hour of 0321
is this sad or is this tragic ???

lijie has 3 reports due on monday
project meeting on tuesday

and she is going mad because she cant get anything done
so she is going out to get a drink
how extremely intelligent of her
:))

i think i will get to watch phantom of the opera after all
yayy
that makes me a happier person
:)))

btw, i still hate lab reports
i swear i am allergic to work
i get a headache whenever i turn on the computer and start to try to do work
gahh

i am feeling extremely unsettled
my heart is pounding and i can feel the fear
and i hate feeling like this because i know something bad is going to happen when i feel like this

it is like i have a sixth sense or sth
as if i can sense that sth bad is going to happen before it happens
and i hate it

i would rather not have this stupid ability to foresee or fore-feel bad things
it causes me to be nervous and frightened
and makes me feel extremely helpless because i know sth bad is going to happen but not knowing what the sth bad is and not being able to prevent it

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEI WEI AND VIVIEN

a little late for one, a little early for the other
but happy birthday, my dears

21
transition to adulthood
but lets not forget how to have fun

stay pretty and adorable always
cheers to more great times ahead!

love you babes

assignments due

1.resume and job application letter
2. PR CA
3. diet analysis
4. chicken lab report

they are due in that order
the first 3 are due within 24 hours of each other, actually

things i need to do
1. stop being half-sick ( i am not really sick but not really well either, so that is half sick)
2. stop being irritated and annoyed
3. make the irritating pounding headache go away
4. go find out where in the world did my money go to
5. cure my dying laptop

oh crap
i am so sleepy that i forgot i have a tutorial at four today
all i could think of was getting home and going to sleep
no thanks to the crazy thing called my stomach that is acting up again as well
rubbish
now i must find another tutorial class to go to
gahh

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAREST

maybe it wasn't alot and maybe it wasn't the best of plans
but i hope you enjoyed yourself

i love you

12 pathetic hours of sleep i've had since the beginning of this week
no, i didn't wake up so early
i just haven't slept, yet

i slept at 0015 and woke up at 0158 just now
i slept at 0032 and woke up at 0517 yesterday
(exact timing, btw)
i have no idea why i remember such random numbers so clearly but cannot remember my bloody equations

thankfully the coffee in the noon is still doing its job in keeping me awake
although i have to say the headache kinda sucks
but oh well
beggars cant be choosers
and i can only blame myself for doing last minute work
as usual

i love analytical chem
really