somewhere out there
beneath the pale moonlight
someone is thinking of me
and loving me tonight

somewhere out there
someone's saying a prayer
that we'll find one another
in that big somehere out there

and even though i know
how very far apart we are
it helps to think we might be wishing
on the same bright star

and when the night wind
starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
it helps to think
that we are sleeping
underneath the same big sky

somewhere out there
if love can see us through
then we'll be together
somewhere out there
out where dreams come true


somewhere out there
if only somewhere wasn't that far away
if only you were not somewhere
but here...

i pierced my ears
like finally..
yes i know
yupp
not much pain
edith seemed to feel the pain worse than i did
hah
bought my red belt too
stayed over at sera's place
i swear i am becoming such a pig
i had like two third a tub of ben and jerry's
oops
think i will die fat
but who cares
it was so goooddddd
hah

been fascinated with emily lately
somehow
got no idea why either
hah
think it looks kinda interesting
a little sinister and morbid i agree but it is nice in its own way
at least i feel
hah
rotting at home again on a saturday
feels pretty nice though

getting used to my mundane job
beginning to feel rather comfortable in my little corner cubicle
it will never be cosy i guess
but it is not that bad anymore
becoming used to constant phone rings and the pressure of the headset on my ears
it still irritates the skin on my ear though
the annoying customers are still there
but i am getting used to it
and i have mastered quite a few of the many accents i hear on my job
*laughz*

going a bit mad lately
seemed to have a thing for rather loud colours lately
bored with my usual ensemble of "proper" colours
hah
almost bought a red belt
still comtemplating
i got interesting specs
at least i think so
light green and plastic
think i can see a few eyebrows raising
hah
i am bored
life is boring
i need a bit of interesting things to brighten up my boring life

a day stolen off
basking in the glorious sun
drinking in the warmth
breathing in the salty air
with the soothing sounds of water in the background
i felt at peace with the world
the first in a long long time

a little gathering of problem-plauged people today
three silly girls all plauged with various problems of their own
three people who stole time off work
a simple meal in a simple kitchen
yet,
it brought imense relief
for a while at least
heartfelt, genuine laughter for the first time in many days
silly antics and stupid actions
just so like us
maybe it was the effect of the alcohol
although i do not think so
whatever the reason
i am glad for the lovely day
thank you my dears

she turns back and look at the road behind
long and winding
littered with pits and traps
yet, she has made it so far
she cranes her neck and look in front
it looks even more intidimating
darker and more sinister
shrieking of creatures whose name she does not know
thick clumps of thorny shrubs grows across the path
how is she to hack it through?
an occasional snake or two can be seen slithering across the path
they look black and venomous
does she dare to barge through it all?
what will she find at the other end?
the long awaited haven
or simply a longer, darker way?

maybe i would dare to
if i knew
you will always be beside me

2 persons
acquainted by 1 camp
brought together by a mysterious stroke of fate
strangers to acquaintances to friends to now
2 yrs
a journey through much obstacles
but how would it end?

outside the sky dawns bright and sunny
it would have been a beautiful morning
if not for the vicious tug-of-war within
dark eyebags line her eyes now
as sleep deserted her chaotic mind
she gives up willing it to come
lying still on her little bed
she stares at the empty ceiling in the darkness
drinking in the sounds of the night
lost in her own little world

alone in the cold chilly wind
shivers running through her fatigued body
is it from the cold within or outside
she does not know
sleep evaded her long after the lights were dimmed
she hugs her mogu
tightly
but comfort it does not bring
only more memories
drowning her in a sea of confusion and misery
she curls up
snuggles under her blanket
seeking the warmth of her own body
attempting to dispel the cold
she closes her eyes
tries to find comfort in the darkness
yet all that appeared were scenes frm the past
images that would not go away
no matter how hard she tried
she opens her eyes
and realises her cheeks were wet
yet again

it was just another day
really

tears fell as the all too familiar scene re-enacted
so familiar but the pain does not cease
smiles turned into sobs
all appetite gone as he stormed
replaced by sorrow, tears and anger
plates of food sat forlornly on the table

she sat at the table
face in her small hands
hardly concealing the wet streaks down her cheeks
all she asked for was a peaceful dinner at home
nothing grand
nothing fantastic
just a simple peaceful meal
why cant even that simple wish be granted?

did they even remember
maybe it really is inconsequential

had dinner with edith and sera
jacks place
the same one i went to last yr
even the orders were identical
talk about coincidence
haha
thanks darlings for tonight
really enjoyed myself
esp sera for the present
appreciate it loads
the memories i will hold dear too

almost another yr has gone by in my life
but at the same time
i cant help but wonder
what have i really accomplished
in these long long yrs
nothing i can really take pride in it seems

darkness and silence
the two ingredients that always seem to bring out the more reflective side of me

a lovely sunday morning
free from the discomfort of the headset pressing into the side of my skull
free from the constant pretence of being interested on why the papers were not delivered
free from the torture of the warzone and irritating elements
yum yum
the freedom of being at home and just doing what you want
bliss
away from work

i think i am not cut out to be a customer service person
first of all, i have no patience of any form at all
secondly, i cant phantom how the complex relay system works
and i think sitting in an office all day facing the phone is a torture
yes, i find my present job miserable
sigh
and alot of blunders caused by me too
bleah
almost set the whole office in an uproar
i was relaying a msg as passed to me
i did not know the earlier request had not been processed
bleah
sigh
bad day at work

had dinner with the girls in the evening though
it was good
food was good
company was great
missed the dear girls so much
haven't had such fun ever since i started work

i really kinda miss school
miss the familiar company
the aroma of cooking food in the noisy caf
the droning of the teachers in the lecture halls while freezing my ass off
the simple white and blue uniform
the struggle to wear the tie and rush to assembly ground on time
hell, i even miss the mean chinese teacher who comes round to chase us out of the caf for assembly
even the pathetically equipped science labs now appear more attractive than my little compartment
any burette, pipette, circuits, pendulums, kinematics setup, microscopes , slides, potatoes or even the foul smelling yeast mixture would be more welcome than the constant phone rings

sigh
maybe the grass is really simply just greener on the other side
i certainly think so

i think i won't call people unless i absolutely have to in a long time
i've had enough of hearing ringing phones to last me a long long time
the constant rrrriiiiinnnnnnngggggg rrrriiiiiinnnnnngggggg in your ears can become a torture
esp if its for 8 hours a day

anyway, just to let off steam
there was this bloody idiot that called
i think i get at least one of those everyday without fail
its only to which end of the scale they are more inclined to

he had the atrocity to call us donkeys who couldn't make a difference to improve the situation
seriously
almost wanted tell him
well, then you are worse off
simply because even we, the donkeys, as you put it, are better positioned than you are
at least we can notify a bigger donkey to do something
you are helpless if the donkeys decide not to do anything
the donkeys can just put you on hold and let you yell
while we attend to other stuff
hmmm..
so what does that make you?
the flea on the donkey's back
well, you certainly make the mark
you are irritating enough

maybe there should be a school to teach courtesy
and make it compulsory for irritants like that to attend lessons
and part of the course should be a stint in the customer service department
that would teach them to be nicer

another montonous day in the crazy war-zone has gone by
it sounds kinda ironical
war zone and monotonous don't really seem to go
but, it simply is that way
its repetition of the same dull stuff at a crazy pace
an idiot called today
he actually told me i said 3 wrongly,
cuz i said three instead of tree like him
i almost wanted to tell him,
" tree is the brown thing with green leaves that grows out of the soil and not the roman numeral."
but i decided that i ought to be nice
so i kept my mouth shut and let him think that tree comes after 2.
haha
someone should tell that uncle next time
maybe i will
on my last day of work
i got his number on the comp anyway
haha

a war-zone
that about sums up my work place
a constant war against time and complaints
everybody attempting to do as much in the shortest possible time
calling ppl to check on their deliveries in the midst of taking down subscriptions and filing complaints
a constant flow of phone calls
leaving you with no time even to press the 'at work' button to take a break
much less a drink to refresh my parched lips and throat.
suprisingly, time passed really quickly at work.
one moment i just logged in, the next moment was lunch and i can go home!
hah..
not that i am complaining
guess work is not too bad after all

oh..
and i just gave myself a new name
actually, no
its those ppl that called up that gave me inspiration for my new name
lis
simple cuz they cannot catch my name
they hear only the li
so ya lor
make things easier for them
that shall be my working name.
hah
lis chan.
sounds kinda weird though.
who cares?
as long as nobody figures out i am the idiot that called to ask if they received their ST in the morning at four in the afternoon.
haha
hi ppl..
i am lis.
lis chan.

I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way
She felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make
the same misktakes again

What's wrong, what's wrong now
too many too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs

She wants to go home
but nobody's home
that's where she lies
Broken Inside
With no place to go
To dry her eyes
broken inside

Open your eyes
and look outside
find the reasons why
you've been rejected
Now you can't find
what you've left behind

be strong be strong now
too many too many problems
don't know where she belongs
where she belongs

She wants to go home
but nobody's home
that's where she lies
Broken Inside
With no place to go
To dry her eyes
broken inside

Her feelings she hides
her dreams she can't find
she's losing her mind
she's falling behind
she can't find her place
she's losing her faith
she's falling from grace
she's all over the place yeah

She wants to go home
but nobody's home
that's where she lies
Broken Inside
With no place to go
To dry her eyes
broken inside

She's lost inside lost inside
she's lost inside lost inside
--nobody's home

sometimes that might be better.

HaPPy NeW YeAR!
another year has gone by
and in a whizz
may this year be a better one for all
esp those who had suffered losses
may they have the strength to pick themselves up again

2004.. a year of memories
some happy others not so
just wan say a big big thank you to all those who have been around me
helping me through the rough patches in life
there certainly has been quite a few of those there
abby, sera, viv
and of course not forgetting you
thanks for everything
for being there, even at unearthly hours in the night
thanks dears.
thanks.

was at sentosa last night.
nation's countdown.
it was not too bad afterall.
despite a shaky start
but there were some people who could definitely use a few lessons on civic-mindedness and modesty.
for crying out loud, you were making out in front of wad?
several thousands of people?
and treading onto and bumping into people all around in the meanwhile
hmmm.. and i thought they say teenagers ought to learn how to behave
maybe they should take a look at those two
hah
but i did have quite a lot of fun later on though
it was a rather entertaining bunch of people
haha
did silly stuff
like play on a swing cum merry go round thing
whee... it was fun!
even did a split for no reason
realised i could still do it after all
hah

its pouring outside now
perfect weather to sleep in
esp since i only slept at almost 8 just now
but somehow, i am super hyper
hah
think its over-exhaustion
hah

have a great 2005 people.
keep your new year resolutions if you have made any!!